The Apology Theory
by PlanetOfTheWeepingWillow
Summary: Vash had his reasons for destroying his sister Lili that night. But Lili, unable to stand that torment, runs away. She meets a list of relatives, from silent Ludwig to a strange Brit named Arthur who tell her what may have caused her brother's sudden rage. Along the way she meets Natalia, who helps with the other pressing issue-the infant in her belly.
1. Chapter 1

"Break off your legs."

Demand. It was a demand. She trembled visibly, clutching her dress to her being. She shook her head. Her legs, long, pale, stuck out in frilled white socks. Too childish, and too cute, Vash grinned lewdly. He reached over and touched her shoulder, smearing blood down her dress. She scrunched her nose and the foul nose. He noticed. She tried to apologize but her cheek turned bright red. The smack still stung. She reached up to touch it but Vash already had grabbed her thin, bony wrist. He threw her on the floor. Lili writhed. She always did.

"Bitch, break off your legs, or else I will. Let me hurt you."

Vash stopped. She was crying pathetically. Blood not hers was staining her dress and cheeks and her nose leaked. Her yellow hair stuck to her tears.

"I love you," he whispered and picked her up, kissing her neck and ears. She squirmed and he hit her again.

"I love you so much," he whispered again, pinching her through her dress. She tried to kick him. He grabbed her legs and spread them apart and

and it happened more and more and more. Each night each day. She waited for him to come home and open the doors. She waited. She waited in pain, bleeding hurting, hurting so much. Finally when she sensed she was with child and told him he hit her on the belly. It happened again in a month. He didn't believe her. She took a test. A little plus appeared. He smacked her across the face and went out the door. He went to grab a belt or something. She grabbed the little bag she prepared during the day and put it on her shoulder. She crept through the window, jumping out one story. She landed hard and tumbled. He heard. She ran. A gun was loaded, the barrel aimed through the window. But she was already gone. She hightailed it.

Her story began.

* * *

_I do not own Hetalia_


	2. Chapter 2

Crying. Across from Natalia there was a girl in rags with a tussled bag on her lap crying. She wept into her hands. The coffee before her was left untouched. She must have some money to afford a luxury of coffee at one in the morning. Her hair was a fair color, now washed out. She tucked strands of hair behind her ears, revealing a pale, round, beautiful face. Her legs were clad in leather boots and crossed under the table. The only other person aside from Natalia and the strange crying girl was a man typing madly on a laptop. He was hissing something under his breath. The poor soul working the graveyard shift was falling asleep on post.

Natalia stood up. She walked over to the crying girl and touched her shoulder. The girl looked up, startled, her black eyelashes matted with tears and her cheeks damp.

"Hello?" She said, dumbfounded.

"Why are you crying?" Natalia sat next to her, holding a cup of tea.

"Why are you here at one in the morning?"

"I could be asking you the same exact thing." Natalia offered a base smile. She was a tall, thin, elegant looking woman with silvery hair pulled back into a braid and a bow in her hair.

"I ran away from home." Lili said, unconsciously touching her belly. Natalia noticed; she didn't comment.

"I see. I did too. Let's run away together."

"Great idea. Let me believe a stranger I met in a coffee shop in a town I don't know while my legs are aching." She rolled her eyes. Natalia found herself smiling. She quickly frowned, swallowing any bit of happiness she had. It was forward of her to suggest the idea, but she wasn't feeling chipper exactly either.

"I like your spunk. Want something to eat?" Natalia asked. Lili mutely nodded. Natalia stood and walked over to the front.

The half-asleep cashier snapped up, taking her order. The smell of freshly made pastries leaked into the room, the tiled floors, the posters of women half-dressed, the fly buzzing in one corner. Even the man on the computer looked up suddenly at the smell. He wore a silk scarf around his neck and a sweater over a white shirt, plaid pants, unfashionable, apparently. He looked across the room, as if having awoken from a long dream. He peered at his watch in disbelief.

"Fuck! I missed my girlfriend's party." He said, standing up and pushing his laptop into an orange bag. He snapped it shut and slung it over his shoulder, scurrying out of the room.

Lili sustained laughter. She couldn't for long. It was the funniest thing she had heard in a long time. She thanked Natalia for the pastry—a honey-glazed, flaky dough circle filled with pink Kelly. She munched through it hungrily.

"You haven't answered my first question," Natalia reminded her.

"Oh," Lili said, raising her eyebrows. "I didn't, did I? Well, I don't want to."

"Fine with me." Natalia said.

"Why are you here so early?"

"That's a story for another time."

Lili nodded. If the stranger didn't press for her story, she wouldn't press for the stranger's either.

Instead she resorted to listening to the music playing quietly in the background. At first it was a light, hip pop tune. Then it meshed faultily into a punk rock song about running away. Lili reconsidered Natalia's offer. She told her this. Natalia set down her third cup of tea.

"Oh?"

"Yes," Lili nodded. "I think that if you wanted to hurt me you already would have. Then again, I don't think I can survive on my own. I stole some money but it's not a lot."

"Yeah, I see, I have some too of what I saved up from work. It's a good sum, maybe."

"Should we run away?" Lili asked curiously. Everything is better than her past. The past is passed. The past is to be forgotten.

"I guess so." Natalia shrugged.

* * *

_I'm sorry for posting the second chapter so soon, but I just wanted to state that this story has nothing to do with the violence inflicted on Lili. I started with that for a reason that will soon become apparent, I hope. _


	3. Chapter 3

"So, you want to run away?"

"Yes." Natalia and Lili said in unison.

The woman across from them with an uneven haircut and a cigarette dangling at her lips nodded. She sighed heavily and pulled a drawer open from behind her. They sat in a crowded apartment. Books and clothing covered the floor. Natalia sat on a stool and Lili perched on a wooden chair, holding her legs up and placing her bag on her lap and her fingers curled around the top.

"I should probably give you a talking to on how this is a bad idea, but who the hell cares?" the woman said. She blew two thin columns of smoke through her nose in what seemed to be dismay. She placed a black bag on the table and slipped it to Natalia. Natalia dug through her wallet but stopped when the woman held up a hand. "No, please, this is a way of thanking you for what you did to me." She smiled.

Natalia nodded mutely and took the bag, opening it. Inside was a gun, several rounds of ammunition, money, matches, other survival items, and a map. "Where do we go first?" Natalia asked.

Lili looked at her and then at the woman, who had piercings up one ear and lively eyes. Natalia had told her that, after they spent a night in Natalia's shabby apartment and told the landlady they wouldn't be returning, they would run away. But first they had to visit this woman, Sparky, and grab some supplies. It was exactly like a film, Lili thought, all that lacked was a gang and some backstabbing. Sparky however had neither and was only the owner of a restaurant and happened to owe several people favors.

Natalia seemed to trust Sparky with her life. She tucked the back bag into her bigger backpack where she tossed her few possessions from the apartment.

"There's a guy just outside of town, name's Gilbert, who will take you in for a night and then lead you in the right direction. Tell him I sent you. I'll call him once you leave to tell him you'll be there. He's a good guy, a… he's a character, all right, but he's good." Sparky gave another dazzling smile and the two women left. They went through a back alleyway. Lili grabbed Natalia's sleeve and followed that way, feeling uneasy.

They trailed through a complex maze of streets. Clothes lines hung overhead and birds flocked around abandoned trash. Several teenage boys brushed past the women, ignoring them completely. Lili winced when they approached and grasped Natalia's hand. When they finally left Natalia looked down at her hand, encasing a smaller, paler one. Lili noticed and blushed, letting go casually.

Eventually they came to a bus stop and sat there. Lili swung her legs, trying not to be sick, but her stomach turned. She knew what was happening and wished she had told Natalia. Something felt wrong about doing that so she didn't, knowing full well it would come back and bite her. She feared that Natalia might abandon her if she knew.

"I'm going to be sick," Lili whispered and stood up violently.

Natalia grabbed her and directed her back to the alley. Lili vomited behind the green, foul smelling dumpster. Natalia pulled a package of moist tissues and washed off Lili's face and hands.

"What happened?" she asked. "Did you eat something bad? Was my cooking that awful?"

Lili shook her head, laughing.

Natalia stared. "What was funny?"

"You're cooking was amazing. Those were the best pancakes I've ever had. Too bad they had to return." Lili said softly, realizing she was still clutching Natalia's hand and let go, throwing away the tissues. They returned to the bus stop. The bus pulled up and they piled in, sitting in the far back. Lili felt sick again as the bus rattled on.

"Get used to being near me." Natalia said, pulling Lili's head to her shoulder. "We'll be together for a while."

Lili nodded. "I have no problem with that."

Natalia smiled and was tempted to kiss Lili but didn't.

.

They stood before the house and knocked on the door nervously. It flung open and an albino man half nude stood before them. He rubbed his eyes and frowned.

"Sparky sent us," Lili said quickly.

"Yeah, I know, she told me about you. Come in," he said in a high, accented voice. They entered the small house located in the middle of about nowhere, just outside of the city and roughly a mile away from town.

It was sparsely decorated. A TV blared in the living room, next to a kitchen. Further in there were two bathrooms and two bedrooms. Gilbert showed them their room and bathroom. "Stay as long as you want." He added. Strangely enough, everything in the house was in an extreme state of cleanliness. Everything was organized, sparkling, sanitized, and the furniture was impeccably placed, no matter how little of it there was. Gilbert pulled on a shirt and leaned against one wall, scratching his belly with yellow-fringed fingernails.

Natalia and Lili stood before him. He gazed at them for some time, one white eyebrow raised over wet red eyes.

"Usually I don't get women in these parts… This used to be a farm, actually, but now it's where I keep hitchhikers when they don't have a place to go."

"Aren't you afraid of thieves?" Lili asked.

"They take a look at my brother and they go running. He's out with some friends now, I think." Gilbert said, entering the kitchen and digging through the cabinets. "What do you want to eat?"

"Anything," Lili said, feeling hungry. "No—wait, actually I kind of want watermelons."

"I don't have any, sorry," Gilbert said curiously, eyeing her.

Natalia frowned. Lili knew Natalia was not stupid. She probably already had figured it out. Maybe if Lili pretended that she didn't even know what was happening to her…

"That's all right," Lili told Gilbert, "Anything is fine."

.

Over dinner, of cranberry juice, thinly sliced meat drizzled in sauce, and a salad made up mostly of cabbages, Gilbert told them where to go.

"The first thing you should do is find a hideout, somewhere you can always go back to if you run into trouble." Gilbert said, chewing thoughtfully. He swallowed and continued; "You can use my place, but I think this is pretty far from where you two want to go. Where exactly is your final destination? Or are you just on the run?"

Natalia and Lili exchanged glances but said nothing.

"Is there somewhere you want to end up? It doesn't matter how bizarre or impossible it is. Just give me something to work with here." Gilbert spread his long fingers out over the mahogany table, tapping his thumb against it.

"I want to go to the mountains." Lili said at last. Natalia nodded.

"I just want to stay somewhere quiet for a little while. I guess the mountains will be fine." Natalia said. She reached back and pinned her hair up. When she stretched Lili couldn't help but find her eyes drawn to the taut muscle, the tones arms, and the rising bosom.

Gilbert nodded. "So go to West. Just keep going west. I know someone who can take care of you there. He'll pick you up at a little town called Firebird. Strange name, isn't it? I'll loan you a car and some instructions on how to get there. But there's a dirt road you can follow just when you get to the town near here and it should take you most of the way. I hope a truck's okay with you."

"That's perfect." Natalia lit up briefly.

Gilbert coughed into his fist and took another long look at Lili.

"I've seen you before."

Lili set her fork down, placing her hands in her lap. One hand drifted to her belly, which was beginning to form a small lump. Or maybe that was her imagination. "Do you know my… brother, then?" she said, pausing in discomfort.

"Vash?"

Lili winced. "Yes."

"Poor kid," Gilbert shook his head. "He's pretty messed up now, isn't he? He used to be the best friend you could have. He'd protect you till the day you die and would, if he could, stand over your grave even after that."

"What happened to him?" Lili asked. She could recall, faintly, when she was much younger, playing around with Vash. When another kid tried to threaten her or even came close Vash would jump at him like a guard dog. Then, when Lili came home crying because some boy tugged at her braids, Vash gave him such a scare he never touched her again. She loved Vash then. But, slowly, after he vanished for a few days and returned, he started to become mean to people he loved. He would pinch and tug. He'd even yell at their mother and smack her around.

"I don't really know. My brother should, though, and maybe Roderich, but I don't have a damned clue. He probably hit his head or something. When I tried to talk to him he would actually hit me. Damned brat, something really bad must have happened to change a kid's character so much." Gilbert said sadly. "When I visited him I remember seeing you. You were pretty shy, huh?"

Natalia watched the conversation raptly, her eyes flicking from speaker to speaker. Eventually her gaze landed on Lili and stayed there. She watched Lili occasionally touch her abdomen or her legs. Natalia wondered if she could be pregnant, but something in her violently rejected the idea. When Lili had touched her hand earlier that day her heart had raced and she felt she may just faint. Maybe Lili wasn't into her like that, Natalia thought sadly, and the rest of the conversation became a low din.

* * *

_This turned out to be the sister story of No Leaf Stirs, which is a new SuFin story I have now up. You do not need to read one to understand the other. They are different stories in the same world. _


	4. Chapter 4

Natalia knew Lili was still awake when she sat up and went to the bathroom down the hall. Natalia shifted uncomfortably and sat up, her hair spilling over her shoulders and on to her white tank top. She wore boy's boxers and pulled her legs up to adjust them. Lili returned, wearing a thin night gown with only panties underneath showing as a faint pink. She sat down next to Natalia.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" She asked, concerned.

Natalia shook her head. "I haven't slept all night. It's not your fault."

In the darkness Natalia could see Lili's small breasts, barely exposing her age. Lili noticed and felt embarrassed. Natalia's shirt could barely hold hers, with a muscular chest all around and collar bones that tensed along with her muscles. Natalia brushed her slender fingers through her hair. She was sleeping with a stranger. The thought hit her and she wondered how she could have allowed herself, as antisocial as she was, to do this. She had slept with her siblings in cots, but that was because they were poor. Now circumstances drew her to share her bed yet again. And she didn't really mind. It was nice having a warm body so close to her again.

"Did you and your brother… love each other?" Natalia asked slowly, looking at Lili.

Lili tensed.

"I'm sorry for asking, it's a stupid question, forget it." Natalia added quickly, pursing her lips.

"No, don't be sorry," Lili said at length. "It's just I don't know the answer. I love him only as a sister should love her brother. He felt the same thing. He turned violent and I was another bag to beat up. I don't understand this either."

Natalia hummed in thought. She rolled a strand of her hair between her fingers. Her nails had never seen a manicure, but were relatively round and evenly cut. Crickets chirped outside along with the distant hoot of an owl. The forest was alive at this time in the night.

Lili hesitated, as if she wanted to say something. Natalia watched her, waiting for something to break the intolerable silence. Nothing did. Finally Natalia spoke; "I used to think I loved my brother, more than a sister should. I told him this and it scared him. He's terrified of whatever he doesn't understand, even violently sometimes. He didn't bother sitting me down and talking which made me madder. I would 'stalk' him. I was devout, but that was the same time I realized, I think I was twelve or thirteen at the time, that I like women. It was the first time I started to consciously watch myself for wandering eyes. I thought it was horrible. I was terrified, just like my brother, and all I wanted to do was run away. I engrossed myself with him. I don't think this makes much sense with you, and I'm sorry, but I need to talk it out."

She expected to find Lili half-asleep with boredom or disgusted with her. Instead she found Lili gazing at her in patience, nodding for her to continue. Happy, Natalia continued.

"A few years later I finally agreed to my body. I finally agreed that I found women, breasts, all that good stuff. I understood men gaping all too well, plus a little." She concluded.

Lili fidgeted with her dress. "I feel the same way. Now I'm ruined because of my brother, I know, so I'm not attractive anymore. I always thought that lesbians," she added quickly, raising her chin. "I always thought that they were all tomboys who didn't like skirts or dresses and cut their hair short. I cut my hair short but I didn't like it. I like dresses, I like skirts, I like to be pretty."

"I don't see anything wrong with that." Natalia concluded. Her heart thundered in her chest, ready to leap out. So Lili was…

"Scared, I'm so scared." Lili muttered, lying down. "I've never been this far from home."

Natalia nestled down in her pillow, which smelled like cheap detergent. "I know. So am I." She held out a hand and Lili touched it, gently placing her palm fully into Natalia's grasp. Natalia went to wrap her arm around Lili's small frame but Lili let go and jerked back. Natalia noticed Lili's swollen belly, a small lump on her tiny frame made big, and held out her hand again, not daring to go any further.


	5. Chapter 5

_… yes and there in the dream she saw him stand over her so big so grand she feared he may eat her up swallow her whole ohhh crunch on those bones and veins and tear her apart until she was nothing but **screams** and **terror** and **weakness**…_

_But then there was that towering pillar of light and beauty a goddess and she bent down and collected the tangle of nerves and bundles in her arms and she saw it and it was clear what the message was until the milky arms dropped her and she fell and fell and fell…_

Lili woke up and clutched her breast, gazing around the room. Natalia was sleeping. The sun had already risen. Lili grabbed the watch from her bag and found it was nearly nine am. She woke Natalia gently and slid out of bed, forgetting to get dressed. She rushed into the kitchen and found Gilbert eating alone. He smiled at her and blushed when he saw what she had on. She touched her breasts and saw that the white of her night gown was translucent. "Sorry," she mumbled and returned to the room. Natalia was awake already. She pulled on sweat pants and tied up her hair.

There was no need for formality. Gilbert had only gotten pants on since he had a guest in his house, ladies at that, and wanted to seem respectful. When he noticed Natalia didn't care he was tempted to take them off but Lili seemed to mind. He apologized and showed them the breakfast of eggs, sausages, fruits, and large pancakes. Natalia thanked him.

Lili felt uneasy but ate anyway. She threw it up not an hour later.

"You're pregnant." Natalia said standing in the doorway her shadow stretching far behind her from the window to the side. She leaned against the wall. Lili crouched over the toilet, wiping her face with toilet paper. She nodded slowly, dabbing away at the seat of the toilet and cleaning up well. "You're pregnant." Natalia repeated, sighing long and hard. "And the father is…?"

"Yes."

It was Gilbert who said it.


	6. Chapter 6

Gilbert stayed at the end of the hall. His eyes were downcast and troubled. Natalia turned to gaze at him evenly, wondering what he knew. Gilbert sighed. "I don't know the details. I know that you have a plan as to where to go, but if you have a chance along the way to meet with someone, he'll tell you it all."

Lili splashed water against her face as she listened. She rubbed her cheeks with the white towel and flicked the lights off. "Who is it?"

"It's an old friend of Vash's. They were friends ever since I can remember and probably even further back."

"Is he on the way to where we need to go?" Natalia asked vaguely.

"Yes. How about you'll make a pit stop there? He'll take you in and lead you on the right track. I can arrange a ride if you want, but I can't pay for it. You know I can't be too connected with all this."

Natalia turned to Lili. "Is this what you want to do?"

"I don't even know where we're going to end up."

"Where do you want to end up?"

Lili's eyes closed and her lips parted, as if feeling the space around her for an answer. She swallowed. "I want to go to the mountains. I want to live there."

"Like we discussed, huh?" Natalia smiled. "That's it, then. And we'll pay for the travel there. I think we can walk a little ways." She added to Gilbert. Gilbert agreed.

The following day Natalia and Lili left.


End file.
